In the latest episode of my podcast, “Burnt Pancakes,” I dive deep into a topic that often lingers beneath the surface of daily chats – sexual desire and intimacy within relationships. This episode, welcomes the mental health and sex therapist Courtney Boyer, who lends her expertise to a discussion many find challenging to initiate.
The Struggle with Sexual Desire
The episode kicks off with an analogy to a burnt pancake, reflecting on how the heat and passion we chase in life don’t always work out as we anticipate. Courtney explores why women might lose interest in sex and the steps to address this issue. She brings up the silent struggles with our changing bodies, the turmoil of motherhood, and how these factors interplay with our intimate lives.
Life Stages and Expectations
Courtney and I tackle the idea that sexual expectations within relationships aren’t a one-size-fits-all scenario. We discuss how different life stages influence a couple’s sex life and stress the significance of open communication about sexual desires and needs. We introduce the concept of a “relationship audit” as a tool for couples to preserve their connection and satisfaction levels.
Body Image and Self-Love
Our conversation then shifts to the complexities of body image and self-love, especially from a woman’s perspective. We share personal stories and underscore the need for understanding and adjusting to changes in desires, especially during significant life transitions like menopause.
Sexual Empowerment and Open Communication
Embracing sexuality, especially for mothers, becomes a central theme of this episode. The discussion revolves around changing mindsets, initiating sex, and the benefits of connecting to pleasure in daily life. Courtney and I share how we maintain privacy and boundaries with our children while creating an environment where open discussions about sex are normalized from an early age.
Raising Sex-Positive Children
Courtney shares her experience raising children in Germany, offering a unique perspective on sex education. We delve into the outdated concept of ‘the talk’ and the benefits of integrating sex education into daily conversations, using clear and accurate language. We argue that this approach allows children to feel safe discussing their sexuality and gender identity.
