The Fear of the Known
It meant
Morning sickness again
Seeing that number on the scale again
And losing my body again
It meant
The pain of labor again
Sleepless newborn nights again
And nursing around the clock again
It meant
Sore muscles from baby rocking again
Spit up on my clothes again
And diaper changes all day long again
It meant
A frustrating sleep schedule again
The witching hour chiming again
And unexplainable crying again
It meant
Building a frozen milk stash again
Leaving my baby to go to work again
And pumping in a closet again
It meant
A feeling of loneliness again
Losing my identity again
And rediscovering my marriage again
I was faced with a fear of the known
But it meant loving another child
So I chose it all over again
*****
Maybe this is the true gift of motherhood; when we are faced with some of our biggest fears, we choose them anyway because of the love we know they will hold.
*****
This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale —an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series “Unmaking Fears”.
Love this. Beautiful words. ❤️